Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize