I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
