did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize