Kiss
Puke
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
