dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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