I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
