so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
