i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
