You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
