He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
