I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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