Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
