Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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