You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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