Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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