Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
