I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My ass is underappreciated
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
