other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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