what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
