You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
