I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
