i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it's like iHOP with fire
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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