I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize