What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
