Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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