My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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