I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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