I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
