Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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