so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
