He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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