Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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