a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
