closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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