Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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