He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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