everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
