are you so shy because you have an std?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
