He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
