She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
