I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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