Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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