She said her name was "party"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
