$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
