..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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