i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
