We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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