you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize