'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
