my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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