I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
