We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize