people are starting to question the shark bite story
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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