Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
