first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Randomize
