I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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