He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize