please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
