don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
