The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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