I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
