Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
