Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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