A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
