I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
